Dual....:-)
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
