so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
