That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
