I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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