Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
