real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
