True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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