i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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