I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I smell stomach acid.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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