sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
