Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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