What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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