So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize