I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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