Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
