I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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