this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
