are you so shy because you have an std?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
