Fuck appropriateness.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
