It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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