I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
