Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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