I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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