mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I love how my cats smell like pot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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