I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
