I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
