we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
