He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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