Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize