He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
