Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize