Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
