I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize