Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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