it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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