i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
