it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can you bring me the toilet please
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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