Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
