how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
