just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
please don't ironically join a cult
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
