Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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