I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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