Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
