Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
my liver is dry heaving
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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