should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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