i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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