At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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