friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
