You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
