I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize