And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
