Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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