Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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