We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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