dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
