The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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