i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
