p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
