I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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