I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Come share oat with me in your robe
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
