You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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