He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My vagina is very pro this idea
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