Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
