Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
