i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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