nut hugger
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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